Enrico Benini's Personal Page

Curious about everything that exists: I might jump from mythology to physics, geopolitics, economics, etc However, my main interest remains music and tech. I have a terrible memory because it is overflowed with silly things, memes, quotes, and internet trash. The memory space is already exhausted 😄

I spend my free time mainly playing electric guitar, doing coding challenges, carrying on personal projects, working out, and hanging out with friends. Always looking forward to the next metal gig or festival, searching for new bands to listen to, books to read, and movies/TV series to watch. There are too many things to do and nothing gets done in the end 😄

I used to play basketball, with awful results. I always like to go on a good hike or long walk outside, as well as go to a museum. Italian, but I can't cook at all.

If you see someone chasing cats and making weird noises, it's probably me.

Very friendly and chill, it's hard to upset me, as I have to deal with software every day, and you can't compete with it. I am an Introvert, so don't expect me to be the center of the party. If I'm in a group environment I would probably stay quiet and listen rather than get into the spotlight, but I always try to add something to a conversation if possible. The louder the place, the quiet I become.

I might come out as awkward at first, a thing I want to improve on, mainly because I didn't know you: what you like, wish, want or not, what makes you happy/sad, your past, aspirations… So I don't know what to say. Eventually, with time, I'll fine-tune and start to make ad hoc jokes or references. Exactly like a social media algorithm does. Expect me to often respond to jokes seriously: I do recognize they are jokes, but I like to consider them real and keep the joke/conversation alive, adding something related to that.

Often I might be annoying, intrusive, or worse, because I focus and dive into your problems, in an attempt to solve them. This happens also when it's not requested, as I interpret a complaint, for instance, as a problem to be solved and analyzed. In such moments, I think I'm being helpful because, as a friend, I feel the duty to improve the other situation and life. However, nobody, especially sensible people, likes to hear from someone else what their flaws/problems are. As a result, the other person feels: bad, criticized, inferior, and inadequate. This is one of the main reasons for conflicts and one of the main Areas of Improvement for me.

Related to the previous paragraph, I might ask a lot of questions until I have every detail about what you are doing, why, and how. That's because, in my mind, the more I know, the better I can help the other. Still, this can also increase or cause more stress for the other person.

When talking I'm very spontaneous, so I don't spend much time thinking about the effects of what I say. Add to this the fact that I never have anxiety and I struggle to identify what causes it. As a result, I might do or say things that make you anxious or embarrass you in public, especially if in an altered state (eg tired).

I have very few boundaries, you can do and say pretty much everything to me. That could be considered as a pro as I never take offense and other can feel free on my side (see the start of the chapter). However, I also forget about other's boundaries, even if they tell me 😅 and I might came across as disrespectful or piss off others without wanting to.

I'll always be the devil's advocate, trying to find the most positive explanation for other's actions. So, If you expect me to vent together against an enemy of yours, it probably won't happen 😄

I often need to have a plan to follow if I'm going to do something, and probably a back plan as well. This applies also to normal interaction: I like to have a topic instead of improvising. I can't do a call without knowing what we will talk about and I hate calls in general. Everything needs to have a purpose. This connects with that initial awkwardness I was talking about. I would probably start collecting data on you at some point, like what gifts you might like so I don't disappoint you or open topics we didn't properly finish talking about. In those rare cases when I go with the flow, I'm in a controlled environment, where I know that making mistakes is not the end of the world.

I hate waste. I probably will keep using something broken till it's unusable. This makes me also go for cheap stuff because spending more on something that's crafted in China anyway is a waste of money. As a result, I live on a budget even if I can afford more, but I prefer to save for the future. I will always accommodate someone else over my desire. Moreover, I don't expect anything from others, so if I get ghosted or mistreated, I won't be particularly sad, on the opposite, I think it's the right thing to do.

I'm often late and terrible at time managing.

I've never fallen in love and at this point, I don't think it's possible as I immediately see the defects of the person I have in front of me, so I don't have that initial idealization phase. No butterflies in stomach. However, not all hope is lost 😄 as I get attached very quickly to people, unless in rare cases, and I like to form strong bonds with them. I try to be as supportive as possible and help my friends beyond what's usually done/healthy.

Unfortunately, I don't have space/time for everyone, so a handful of people end up being selected as close friends, and those can ask me whatever, and I'll do whatever it takes to be sure they are happy. Of course I would like to see something in return, like some appreciation and affection, if I don't I might be sad at first (I'm not a robot after all), but then cool down on my own.

I'm not jealous by any means and I don't understand it. I value freedom over everything, as I want it as well, so I won't impose constraints of any kind.

My love languages are:

Act of service

Physical touch

Making gifts

Emotional Intelligence

Learn and improve in how to handle, especially others, emotions. Not to threat them as problems to solve

Conversation Starter/Ice Breaker

Learn how to start a conversation with a stranger and break initial embarassement

Story Telling

Get better at story telling, getting more to the point and keeping other attention high.

Find Long Term Vision

Try to project myself ahead and see what I want to become. Set goals, like this section really 😄