Enrico Benini's Personal Page

I'm generally friendly and calm; it's hard to upset me, as I deal with software every day, and you can't compete with that. I am an introvert, so don't expect me to be the center of the party. In group environments, I tend to stay quiet and listen rather than get into the spotlight, though I always try to add something to a conversation if possible. The louder the place, the quieter I become.

I have very few boundaries; you can do and say pretty much everything to me. I rarely take offense, and others can feel free around me. However, I also tend to forget about other people's boundaries, even if they tell me 😅, which can make me come across as disrespectful or upset others unintentionally.

I might come across as awkward at first (something I want to improve on), mainly because I don't know you yet: what you like, wish, want or not, what makes you happy or sad, your past, aspirations… So I don't know what to say. Eventually, with time, I'll fine-tune and start to make ad hoc jokes or references, similar to how a social media algorithm works. Expect me to often respond to jokes seriously: I do recognize they are jokes, but I like to consider them real and keep the joke/conversation alive, adding something related to that.

I tend to focus on problem-solving, which means I often dive into your problems in an attempt to solve them. This happens even when it's not requested, as I interpret a complaint, for instance, as a problem to be solved and analyzed. In such moments, I think I'm being helpful because, as a friend, I feel the duty to improve the other person's situation and life. However, nobody, especially sensitive people, likes to hear from someone else what their flaws or problems are. As a result, the other person may feel bad, criticized, inferior, and inadequate. This is one of the main reasons for conflicts and one of the main areas of improvement for me.

Related to this, I tend to ask a lot of questions until I have every detail about what you are doing, why, and how. That's because, in my mind, the more I know, the better I can help the other person. Still, this can also increase or cause more stress for the other person. When I'm with the right person, I can have long conversations about several topics and talk for hours trying to analyze all possible aspects.

When talking, I'm very spontaneous, so I don't spend much time thinking about the effects of what I say. Add to this the fact that I never have anxiety and I struggle to identify what causes it. As a result, I might do or say things that make you anxious or embarrass you in public, especially if in an altered state (e.g., tired).

I often need to have a plan to follow if I'm going to do something, and probably a backup plan as well. This applies also to normal interactions: I like to have a topic instead of improvising. I can't do a call without knowing what we will talk about, and I hate calls in general. Everything needs to have a purpose. This connects with that initial awkwardness I mentioned. I tend to start collecting data on you at some point, like what gifts you might like so I don't disappoint you, or open topics we didn't properly finish talking about. In those rare cases when I go with the flow, I'm in a controlled environment where I know that making mistakes is not the end of the world.

I'll always be the devil's advocate, trying to find the most positive explanation for other people's actions. So, if you expect me to vent together against an enemy of yours, it probably won't happen 😄

I dislike waste. I'll probably keep using something broken until it's unusable or try to fix it before throwing it away. This also makes me go for cheap stuff because spending more on something that's crafted in China anyway is a waste of money. As a result, I live on a budget even if I can afford more, but I prefer to save for the future. I will always accommodate someone else over my own desires. Moreover, I don't expect anything from others, so if I get ghosted or mistreated, I won't be particularly sad; on the contrary, I think it's the right thing to do.

I tend to focus on what's wrong and what can be improved, even when I've reached good results. I think that's partly due to how my work is—always looking for problems to solve.

I'm often late and struggle with time management.